God Was There

On November 13th, 2015, our world witnessed yet another unimaginable horror. In the face of such senseless and unthinkable tragedy, it is easy to let the anger well up inside of us and boil over in overwhelming anguish and hatred. And in these moments of shock and disbelief, we may be tempted to find ourselves on our knees, shaking our fists skyward. These days it seems like humanity itself is ripping at its seams. Headlines are flooded with natural disasters and war; the news channels are filled with despair and acts of violence; world leaders go about making historical decisions with little regard to human dignity and life. And all the while, where is God?

There are men and women in this world who proclaim that God was behind the rifles. Pulling the triggers. Detonating the bombs. They said that this was His will. They did it in His name. But if there is one thing I am certain of above all, it is that my God is a God of perfect LOVE. There is absolutely no way that a loving God would approve of such crimes against humanity - and to think so is utter and complete blasphemy! And if you don't believe me, just listen to the Vicar of Christ, Papa Francisco. 

"Such barbarity leaves us dismayed and we ask how the heart of man can conceive and realize such horrible events that have not only disturbed France but also the whole world [...] In the face of such intolerable acts, one cannot but condemn the unqualifiable affront to the dignity of the human person. To use the name of God to justify the path of violence is blasphemy." - Pope Francis 

These acts were tears in the eyes of God. But if our God would not condone violence, why does He not step in? Why doesn't He stop these things from happening? Surely if He is so powerful, He could smite evildoers and prevent all this loss - Why does He let us suffer so? If God is love, and love is willing perfect good for another, why do bad things happen to good people?

Two words. Free will. Yes is it true, God is all powerful and nothing is impossible for Him! He could do all those things if He wanted to. But at the dawn of creation, He chose to give us free will out of love, so that we may chose to love him freely and wholeheartedly in all that we think, say, and do. But remember what happened as a result? Sin. All suffering and evil in this world is a result of mankind's failings - not God's.

The people stood by and watched; the rulers, meanwhile, sneered at him and said, “He saved others, let him save himself if he is the chosen one, the Messiah of God.” Even the soldiers jeered at him. As they approached to offer him wine, they called out, “If you are King of the Jews, save yourself.” Luke 23:35-37

Those passing by reviled him, shaking their heads, and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, if you are the Son of God, [and] come down from the cross!” Likewise the chief priests with the scribes and elders mocked him and said, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. So he is the king of Israel! Let him come down from the cross now, and we will believe in him. He trusted in God; let him deliver him now if he wants him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” Matthew 27:39-43

On the cross, Jesus was laughed at. Spat upon. Ridiculed and mocked. They challenged His power, and they wanted proof. They wanted a spectacle. Yet He looked upon them with love and said to His Father, "forgive them, for they know not what they do." He did not save Himself, knowing full well He could. Instead of taking Himself down from the cross, He endured every agonizing second with humility and endless love. He didn't save Himself because He knew that His death gave the chance at life for millions of faithful...if they chose to love Him. Loving God is a CHOICE. And with that choice to love Him back, comes the choice of loving others and ourselves.

"Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having."        - C.S. Lewis

His Love for us, however, does NOT promise us a life without suffering. Suffering is guaranteed. Instead, He promises us comfort in affliction and everlasting peace in uncertainty. He promises that he will be there for us ALWAYS to be our rock and stronghold. It's up to us to decide how to respond in times of pain. It is up to us to trust in Him, or forsake Him. 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

"...I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 

So...what happened in Paris? Where was God?

I say to you that God was weeping for love of the shooter. God was weeping for love of the man who was dying a nonbeliever. God was weeping for love of those who had loved him all along. Make no mistake, friends.

God was there.

The Hike: McKinney Falls

When life gives you an adventure partner and a tank full of gas, who are you to turn down a quick day trip? Some would journey off to the city, but not this pair. This past weekend, we decided to explore the outskirts of Austin. Just 1.5 hours (and several car rap battles later), we found ourselves at McKinney Falls State Park on a cold and windy Saturday. Some of you may have me pegged as a strictly indoors kind of gal, considering I do enjoy the "finer things" in life (lazy couch Netflix binge, anyone?). But I'd argue that I myself have many sides, and my soul was made to explore. We took a hundred or more photos on our day of retreat, but here are a few of my favourites. 

I avoided falling into the frigid water and kept to my rock island, but as you can see, Kev decided to journey farther. What you don't see in this photo is him slipping on the green algae and soaking himself through his jeans and boots. That's what happens when you ignore my advice and go jumping across the falls! I tried to refrain from giving the old I told you so.


Along the trail, we adopted a little leaf friend. I called it Leif Ericsson, for obvious reasons. Here is a little gem of a photo. You tell 'em to model, and ya boi delivered some real fierceness.

After hitting the trails at McKinney, we ventured into famous SoCo for some lunch. South Congress Street, not far from the pink marble capitol and the heart of Austin, features some iconic graffiti wall art and murals, street artists and dancers...not to mention the rows of food trucks and creative dining options and eccentric stores. If you're from the area, no doubt you've heard of Homeslice, an independent ATX original serving authentic NY style pizza in the hippest, insta-worthy atmosphere around. And let me tell you, the pizza is FIIINE. Like seriously so good. Heart-eye emoji good. So with full, satisfied stomachs, we explored SoCo. And, of course, we HAD to get a basic picture by Tesoro's Guadalupe wall featuring the eternal rockstar herself, Our Lady of Guadalupe.

After a little tour of SoCo, we hit the trails again, this time at River Place. Driving through the hills and fancy clifftop homes on the way, it felt like we were in a California dream. I fell in love with the neighborhood instantly. Let's just say we were slightly disappointed at not running into Sandra Bullock or Matthew McConaughey. What? It could've happened! The paths were easy and beautiful, and I couldn't have had a better trails companion. I could've sworn I had died and gone to Heaven amongst the trees and clear creeks.

All in all, 'twas a wonderful day. With all the craziness of school and the stress that comes with it, we just needed to get away for a day, and our little Saturday vacay hit the spot. I am so thankful for days like this where I can just forget about everything and just live in the present moment, away from worldly distractions and obligations. The trails abound with God's glory, and in them I find my peace. Thanks be to God for the escape of his Creation! 

The Hike: Pedernales Falls

Hello everyone, been such a long time since I have posted on here - and again, I apologize. Seems like I am always so busy that blogging hasn't been a tip top priority, but I'm always buzzing with ideas and content so stay tuned! Plus, I'll be traveling and adventure-ing hard pretty soon. I'm ready, are you?!

Ever since classes have ended, I've been itching to go outside and explore. Scrolling down my Instagram feed often generates some serious adventure envy. I just want to hop on a plane or jump in a car and get my butt out there! There's so much beauty our lovely earth has to offer...but what better place to start than in our own backyards? 

Yesterday, we made our way down to Pedernales Falls State Park, a beautiful nature reserve in the heart of the Texas hill country. After a nice dip in the river to enjoy the calmer current, we hit the trails.

Continuing down the trail towards the falls, you'll find beautiful limestone formations, small tide pools and collections of interesting stones and pebbles along the river. Got lots of sand and rocks stuck in my Chacos! Nothing a quick rinse won't fix.

 Water has this beautiful way of occupying any and all places, finding its way into small caves and basins and making itself at home amongst the rock's accommodating curves.

 Standing on the brink of something so powerful and untamed...it's a feeling of appreciation, of respect. I love standing near the water and hearing the massive whoosh as it crashes into land.

“Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.” -Norman Maclean

Until next time,

L x 

♥ 

How To: Turn a Down Day into a Good One

Do you ever just feel so…blah? Like you’re stuck in an inexplicable funk of blah-ness that just isn't you? You know what I mean. Sometimes you just can’t shake it. Everybody has those days (Can’t help but think of that old Hannah Montana classic just then — try your best to not shimmy away the sadness. Or you know, just carry on). In all seriousness, the funk is real people! Sometimes, life comes and whacks you hard in the face. Maybe it’s something more serious — the shattering loss of a loved one, the crushing pain of a broken heart, the helplessness of unemployment or eviction or failure or rejection. Maybe it’s a loss of hope, of faith, of courage. 

Or maybe it’s relatively minor — situations like these are what I’ll focus on for the sake of this post. Maybe you had a sucky week at school or a hard day at the office. Maybe you’ve lost your motivation. Maybe you’re feeling under the weather and are starting to think it might be good to just crawl in a hole and stay there, as long as there’s a fair supply of Kleenex at the bottom.

When life comes to whack you hard as it so often does, it’s natural to just take the blow and lie there on the ground. All you can focus on is the certainty of that moment: how sucky you feel, how “ratchet” you look, how much it hurts, etc. The last thing you want to do is think about the future. 

However, eventually there comes a time when you just can’t wallow any longer. There comes that moment when you realize you haven't left your bed in three days and you’ve got chocolate on your chin and you're hair is a mess and OH! Dear God, is that what you look like?! There comes that moment when you’ve just got to close the Netflix, crawl out of bed, and get on with life.

So what's the next step? Today I'll share with you a few of the things I do to turn a down day around.

1. Make your bed. Now that you've finally peeled yourself from those sheets and wiped the Dorito dust off your mouth - it's alright, I won't judge - give yourself a clean fresh start by making the bed. It'll make you feel better, I promise. For some reason, I need to have my bed made in order to get anything done. The room (and your life) will always feel messier when a messy bed is present.
2. Wash your face. For the Dorito dust. But also because nothing feels better than a fresh, bare face. Use a refreshing cleanser or mask - maybe something with a zesty fresh fragrance that is sure to leave you feeling squeaky clean and uplifted.
3. Write in a journal. If you can manage it, try to start keeping a journal. I started keeping journals a few years ago, and I can't tell you what a release it can be. It's not designed to be extra work, but if you can write a little bit every day, I guarantee you a clearer mind. Try to write about things you are grateful for - once you remember how truly blessed you are, a good mood and a smile isn't far behind.
4. Listen to music. Pump up the jams, pump it up. While your feet are stompin'. But really, turn off all the mopey shiz and turn on all your favorite upbeat tunes - preferably the nineties throwback ones that you can just solo-jam to in your room...like this and definitely this. Whatever your feel good song is, blast it and get the good vibes going!
5. Go outside. Take a quick walk outside to really clear your head. Go somewhere with friends. Anything that'll get you looking at something new, feeling something new. I find that going outside in the fresh air always has a positive effect - especially if it's a beautiful sunny day out. Seeing all the good around you, all the trees and the birds and the smiling people, can give you a whole new perspective. Witness all the life that has happened while you were shut up in your dark room, and you'll realize that time doesn't stop when you do.
6. Read a good (funny) book. Right now I am nose deep in Mindy Kaling's Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) and loving it! Definitely would recommend as a light, seriously funny read that'll have you smiling like a weirdo in public and drawing too much attention to yourself.
7. Find your mood switcher. For me, my puppy Cocoa (a tiny Yorkshire Terrier) can always brighten my day in an instant. She is just too freaking adorable - you can't keep a serious face around her. She doesn't live with me all the time though so, when I am not back home at my family house, I don't even know what I do. I am beyond obsessed with her, as those of you who know me already know, but I can't help it.

And there we have it - some of the ways I deal with a down day. Hope you've enjoyed this post! Until next time...

In A Year

There’s something about that first year on your own that just changes everything. Flipping through the worn pages of my trusty Moleskine (you should all invest in a good old fashion journal, just saying), I’ve realized that, in the past year, a lot has gone down. Exactly a year ago, I was getting ready to graduate from high school. Only a year. And here I am, three, four hundred some odd days later, sat alone in my first apartment that should be empty by now, listening to the rain fall hard outside my window and thinking. Thinking.

For all intents and purposes, this website is basically an online journal. My space. My breathing room. I get to decide which words to leave unsaid and which thoughts should be published. Granted I haven't posted on here in what feels like ages, and that’s because I’ve been too busy — for lack of a better phrase — getting my shit together elsewhere (not that my shit will ever be together per se). Anyways, I guess what I mean to say is, this is my little corner of the internet where I can be really honest. And it’s about to get real.

As I think back on the crazy year I’ve had, there is no way I could’ve anticipated everything that I went through. I am not going to lie, it was a hard year. But I am not going to bore you with the depressing sob story right now, because that’s all in the past now. My grades were great and all that, so it wasn’t really the school part…just a lot of personal struggles. The super short spark note version is, basically, first semester of freshman year sucked…but after a lot of soul searching and growing up and learning how to manage my life and health issues better…things started to change for the better. 

Moving on. Time to focus on the whole point of this rambling blogpost. Here are some of the things I’ve learned during my first year at university. I have learned that…

1) You just can't be all the things. And that’s okay. If you're anything like me, you constantly think about the kind of person you want to be — how you want to portray yourself, how you want to dress and look like, what kind of vibe you want to give off. Maybe you want to reinvent yourself. While college is the perfect time to do that, don't pressure yourself to be that best version of you right this second. It takes time to grow. Keep that best version of you in mind, but don't be too hard on yourself when things don't seem to go your way. I want to be all the things, but sometimes, I just can’t. 

2) The best things in life are not planned. College is the perfect time to be spontaneous, to have fun, to really experience life and youth and all its glory. If you’re like me, you’re a planner. You think and think and think and rarely leave room for error. You make lists, you plan. But every once in awhile, put away the notepad, girl! Let the chips fall where they may. Let go and let God do for you what He thinks is best. The best things in life are complete surprises. Don’t be afraid to just go for it.

3) You can't date an idea. Don’t let your unrealistic expectations get in the way of something that could be really great. Remember that he or she is a person with flaws, insecurities, complicated feelings and emotions. You can’t expect every person you go out with to tick off all the boxes. But by no means am I saying lower your standards…keep those standards real high. You deserve the absolute best.

4) No one knows what they are doing. I mean no one. When you walk onto campus for the first time as a doe-eyed freshman, you see those sophomores and juniors and think, wow. Those guys have got it going on (and let’s face it, we do). Those guys have it all figured out. Uh no, we don’t. Tell that to the senior that’s changing his major for the fifth time. Every one is going at it at their own pace and figuring it all out as they go along. You don't have to know everything. That’s the beauty of college. These are confusing times my friends. But really, what better time is there?

5) Homegirl isn’t always going to back you up. In the real world, it’s real easy to find out who your true friends are. People change in college, so don't expect that all your high school homies will stick around or still have your back. Most importantly, be wary of the “friends” who don't have your best interest in mind. College is a very competitive playing field in all aspects of life, but especially when it comes to academic accomplishments and dating. Be careful. You know that girl from high school who’s really quiet and sweet and never did anything to hurt you? Those are the ones you gotta watch. Just kidding. But really, the only person who is truly, one hundred percent on your side always, is you. Just be careful and stick up for yourself. That’s all I’m sayin’.

6) Nobody cares. So do what you want, wear what you want. Go dance around in the quad with your pjs on, do cartwheels on the fifth floor of the library, or be the fatty smuggling three pizza boxes into your dorm…because nobody cares. In college, weird shiz happens all the time. Most of the time, people will just shrug and say, “That’s so college” or “eh, good for her. You do you. Hashtag YOLO.” And if on the off chance they give you a look, they probably just failed a final or got dumped. Give them a hug. Or don’t. Your call.

7) It’s okay to be a mess. Every one is a mess. If you feel like a mess, that just means you’re college-ing correctly.

8) It’s okay to cut people out of your life. In fact, it is your right. It’s healthy to get rid of people who bring you down, who don't look out for you, who don't truly care for you, who are just in it for themselves. In the words of the queen Tyler Oakley, “You are allowed to cut people off who are not productive, who do not make you a better person, and who do not make you happy. You know who I’m talking about. You don't need them.” Need I say more?

Now, PAY ATTENTION HERE. This next one is probably the most important. 

9) True friendship is rare. A true friend isn’t jealous. He/she wants you to be your most beautiful, happy, vibrant self. Don't EVER let yourself feel like you have to hide your own light to protect someone else’s insecurity. If they can’t step back and support you without feeling threatened, jealous, or competitive…they do not have your best interest at heart. DUMP THEM and refuse to change yourself for their sake. Find people who challenge you to grow and want you to get better…who love you always. 

It’s true what they say — college is a truly amazing time. You’re young. You’re still a kid, but at the same time you’re learning how to adult. It’s the last time you can really just enjoy freedom and relative lack of responsibility. It’s your time to make mistakes. To dye your hair purple and completely regret it…or rock it. To get hurt. To learn. To get back up. To major in Philosophy because there’s "no real career in that" anyways — why not? To do what you want. To find yourself. It’s transformative, it’s eye opening, it’s exciting, it’s confusing, it’s liberating. It can be the best four — or five, if you wanna take a victory lap — years of your life. But like any experience, it is all about how you make it. 

I could go on and on about all the these I’ve learned this year, and I love giving advice, so this blogpost could’ve easily turned into a book, but I am sure you’re so glad it didn’t. If you’ve survived reading all the way ’til the end, thanks for the read. Knuckle touch.

Mont Saint-Michel

I have recently come to the realization that there are over two thousand photos saved in my photo library just begging to be shared somewhere, so I thought, why not start a new photo series right here on Annesque? These photos were all taken at the top of the beautiful Mont Saint Michel during my tour of France and Normandy last year.

"Amongst the quicksand, disorienting fog, and that sea, [which could] encircle unwary hikers, they found solitude...a dramatic abbey reaching to heaven...perched on a rocky islet in the midst of vast sandbanks exposed to powerful tides between Normandy and Brittany...the Benedictine Abbey of Mont Saint Michel."

Mont Saint Michel is a small tidal island located only about 600 meters from the mainland, and absolutely unlike anything you will ever see in your life. It was founded in the 8th century for the Archangel Michel, and was settled by Benedictine Monks who sought solitude in prayer and closeness to God in this rocky fortress community. The massive historical abbey, with its beautiful stone architecture, stands today surrounded by colorful shops and restaurants. Exploring the island made quite the work out as we walked on an incline along the steep passageways, narrow roads and winding alleyways. Warning: not for the faint of heart, but such an amazing experience! 

Hope you enjoyed this little look-see into my day at Mont Saint-Michel. I apologize for the quality, they are not all the best. I wish I could show all my photos to you! Be prepared for more travel posts coming your way soon!

Until next time, 

L x

♥